Essay/Term paper: The first seven years

Essay, term paper, research paper:  Position Papers

Growing and learning is a part of life that no one is exempt from. This fact influences

everyone, whether it be a young child learning to share or an old man learning to let go.

Feld, in The First Seven Years, finds that he has to let go of several of his own issues to

allow his daughter to undergo her own growth and learning.

Feld is the typical father, he wants only the best for his daughter. Feld wants the

best education, the best man, the perfect life. He believes that ,as a farther, he can make

her life perfect simply by telling her the necessities of life. However, after several

incidences Feld understands that he must learn to let go. He discovers that he must let go

of sending her to college, "He had begged her to go.." he had to let go of the fact that

Miriam would not marry the perfect man. "Let her marry an educated man and live a

better life." In the end Feld learned that he could not alter his daughters future in anyway.

The only thing he could do is to keep his silence. "Then he realized that what he had

called ugly was not Sobel, but Miriam's life if she married him." When Feld explains to the

readers that Miriam is always reminded him that she wants freedom, he is revealing to the

reader that he is growing and beginning to understand that he has to let go so, Miriam is

free to live her life, and make her own mistakes.

Although, being able to let go is a small part of the growth that can proceed. Feld

also comes to an understanding, he comes to peace with what he has no control over.

"...all his dreams for her- why he had slaved and destroyed his heart with anxiety and

labor- all these dreams of a better life were dead." Everyone has their own way of dealing

with the "undesirable" moments of life, and Feld, in the end, was at peace with the idea

that someday his daughter would marry a refuge shoemaker. "He felt for his daughter a

strange gripping sorrow, as if she were already Sobel's bride..." With Feld saying this he is

granting himself a certain peace and understanding for the situation. "'Don't ask her for

two years more, till she is twenty-one; then you can talk to her.'" Feld realizes there is

nothing he can do to change what is going to happen. He truly learns to understand.

Equally important, if not more important, is what Feld discovers in the end. He

has actually learned a lesson that he has been missing his whole life and had never even

noticed it was missing. Feld realized that he could not live his dreams through the life of

his only child. There are various places in the story in which Feld reveals the true meaning

behind his constant pushing for Miriam to have a better life, he is not satisfied with

himself. "Neither the shifting white blur outside nor the sudden deep remembrance of the

snowy Polish village were he had wasted his youth could turn his thoughts from Max, the

college boy..." Simply by Feld making this statement the reader is pulled into his mind to

see that he has regrets about not attending college, or having the money to do so. Feld

pushes his dreams to Miraim, and the life he wishes for he is really the life he never had

but always wanted. "..and had in her life no more than her mother had had." Again, Feld

is showing us the disappointment he has in his own life, but learning from it ever so

slowly. Feld was learning that his dreams belong to him, and that Miriam and Sobel have

their own dreams.

As a result of all Feld has experienced he has grown and understood a small

portion of his life. He had learned from the experience of being a farther; he learned from

what he can not change. He learns not to push his life to others. Feld changes in so many

ways, it is remarkable the lessons that Feld has learned, and yet Feld has so much more to

discover about his own life.